Non-Japanese Travel Journal: Florida

First, let it be said that I don't get homesick. In order to be homesick, one must have a permanent home, and it's been a long time since I had a home that I considered permanent. Home is where I am right now - I carry it with me, inside of me, because that won't change. My environment may change (and I prefer it to change), but I've got my memories, and that's enough. I don't waste a lot of time or energy on sentimentalism or nostalgia.

I didn't to back to Florida because I was homesick. I went because I had the chance to go, reasons to go, people to see, and things to do. Also, because I don't know when I'll be going back, and I have no desire to return any time soon. Returning to Florida is almost like taking a step backward, and I don't like backtracking. It's a waste.

Okay, waste is a bad word, and it doesn't quite have the meaning I want. It's more apropos to say that there are countless places in the world to see and limited time to do it in. If I'm going to use my free time to travel, I want it to be to someplace I've never been before, to experience something new. Florida is familiar and therefore comfortable, and it's too easy to fall into a nostalgic state of mind: "oh, remember how fun it was to . . . " or "how about all the good times we had at . . . " or "wasn't it funny when . . ." or "I sure miss . . . " Once you start visiting the past in your head, it makes it that much harder to appreciate the present and make something of the future. I'm too young for nostalgia, not when I've got so much more living to do.

Not that there's plenty of goodness in Florida to encourage visiting it. There is the following:

those beautiful natural settings

the never-a-dull-moment weather

the delicious (non-commercialized) food

silly friends

and, last but not least, family

Do I dislike Florida (or the United States)? No, of course not. There's still a lot of the States that I'd like to see. Will I live there again? The answer right now is probably not. It's not that I want to avoid comfortability and familiarity - I want to avoid complacency. It's too easy to start taking things for granted, to expect that this is the way things will always be. Familiarity is nice, but it doesn't make things wonderful. And I've found that I can be perfectly comfortable in a place that is foreign to me. That made me realize that I spent a long time in a place that no longer felt comfortable, even though I'd lived most of my life there.

So, for me, going back to Florida wasn't like going home. It was like going through a photo album and realizing how much has changed - both in yourself and in others - and appreciating the past while at the same time not wanting to relive it. And honestly, I prefer it this way.