Showing posts with label nanowrimo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nanowrimo. Show all posts

Sunday, November 6, 2011

the Earthquake

I was not quite ten weeks pregnant when the 9.0 magnitude earthquake struck off the coast of the Tohoku region of Japan. Although Geordie and I made it through without any injuries or damage, it changed our lives. For today's Nanowrimo writing session, I spent a good chunk of it writing down my memory of that day. Here's an excerpt about the exact moment the earthquake hit, just those first few minutes as it happened and before I knew the full extent of the damage.


-----
March 11.

A Friday. A good day, then, because Geordie would be coming home. He’d meet me as I was finishing work, and we’d probably have dinner together in Loc City. Ramen, maybe. Then home to relax a bit together and to talk about the week. Those were all the plans we had made.

My shift started at five, though I usually went in early, around four. I did my hair in the morning but would not bother with getting fully dressed until three or so. A little after one, I sat down to the computer to write an email to my brother. I had been putting it off, as I often do; I am not the best of penpals. As I wrote, the apartment began to shake – another earthquake, a minor occurrence in Japan, for the most part. It gave me something to share with Ryan, and I added a sentence about it to his email.

The ‘quake started small. It felt like any other ordinary earthquake, one of dozens I’d felt since I arrived in Japan. After the few seconds of shaking, you go back to your usual business, as though nothing had really happened. One had woken me from my sleep on Wednesday morning, a little stronger than usual but nothing to get worked up about.

But the shaking did not stop. Instead, it intensified. That made me pause.

“Don’t panic,” I said aloud to myself. It would die down in a moment; it always did. I had never before been in an earthquake that had actually scared me.

Then a can of soup fell off the shelf above the kitchen sink, and I knew that this was not an ordinary earthquake, that it was something big, that I could not just sit there and wait for it to stop. Other things began to fall, including one of my rose pictures in the hall. I leaned over my computer and took down my diploma so it wouldn’t fall on the monitor.

I stood and pulled open the curtains of the sliding glass door at the front of the apartment. Across the narrow street was an empty house, and a couple hours earlier, two men had shown up to do some work on the interior. They ran out into the street as the shaking continued, holding their arms out to balance themselves. They spoke to each other. Often, I could hear when people on the street spoke, but because of the noise of the earthquake, I couldn’t hear the workmen. Some earthquakes are quiet, but with some come a rumbling, a deep and earthy sound like terrestrial thunder. This earthquake brought that sound.

Everything in the apartment moved, rattling about, a surprisingly tremendous noise. I suddenly did not what to stay in the apartment any longer.

I had on only a t-shirt and a pair of around-the-house boxer shorts. Grabbing the closest pair of pants to me, I pulled them on and put my cell phone and wallet into the pockets. I went into the hall and pulled on my heavy winter coat, leaning against the wall for support. Without bothering with socks, I slipped into my shoes and reached for the front door. My hands shook as I laid them on the door handle, and I thought that it was not just because of the earthquake’s shaking and the cold. After at least one minute, the ‘quake still had not abated. It felt like it would never end.

I can’t say how long exactly the earthquake lasted – somewhere between two and three minutes perhaps – but it felt like an eternity as I stood on the street and watched the houses shake on their foundations. The street moved – back and forth – and the electric lines overhead swayed and jumped, pulled taut before sagging and then going taut again. No tall buildings were in the area, so I didn’t worry about anything falling on me, but those wires made me uneasy. It was hard to stand up straight; I rocked from side to side as though I were on a boat.

Most of the buildings on my street were residences, but because it was the middle of a week day, not many people were at home. Only a few came out into the street, and all of them save for the workmen and myself were elderly. They clung to fences or carport supports and said very little. A crash came from the home across from my apartment, and one of the workmen ran back inside.

After a time, just as it felt like the earthquake would never end, the earth began to calm, and the shaking died away. It did not stop altogether, not immediately, but the buildings ceased their swaying, and it was possible to walk easily again. I stood in the street, pulling my coat around me, shivering with cold and fear. I did not know what to do.

My direct neighbor in the apartment home came outside and into the street, looking around amazed but unshaken. She said to me in Japanese, “Are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m okay,” I said. “Are you?”

“I’m alright.” She nodded her head and added, “That was very big, wasn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“Very big,” she repeated. “Probably a 5.”

It did not occur to me until later, after I knew the full magnitude of the earthquake, that I realized she meant that by the Japanese scale, which tops out at 7.

She waved at one of our neighbors down the street and called to them, leaving me alone. My thoughts flew to Geordie; I didn’t know where the earthquake had originated, but I was sure he had felt it to some degree. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed his number. All lines were busy, as I had guessed they would be. That didn’t stop me from trying again.

I went back into the apartment to survey the damage. Only one plate in the sink had broken, probably from the soup can that had dropped on it. Books and other odds-and-ends had fallen off the coffee table and my tall bookshelf, but nothing had broken. My desk had been pulled away from the wall. The wall on the left side of the window over the couch had cracks at the window’s edges. Everything was in disarray, but that seemed to be the extent of the damage. The power was off.

The aftershocks came steadily, some of them stronger than other earthquakes I had felt in the previous two years. The sliding doors that separated the two rooms rattled constantly, and I knew I could not stay there. I decided to dress properly and go to work. I could think of nothing else to do.

Monday, October 24, 2011

just a quote (II)

Today was a long day. It was mostly a good day, but it was a long one.

We went up to Gotemba to the Premium Outlet mall to see if we could find a new suitcase and met with mild success. Not sure if it'll work for our needs, but it might. It wasn't the easiest of tasks because of the "family-friendly" atmosphere, but we managed to get through the day. And then we rewarded ourselves with a delicious French dinner at a hotel in the area. A good start to our last week in Japan. It's hard to believe that we'll be flying away on Sunday.

Because it's been such a busy day, I haven't had time to work on a blog post. Also, a lot of my extra time lately has gone to preparing for Nanowrimo - plotting and gathering notes and such. Even writing a memoir takes preparation, and I have a lot of ideas to get down, so organization is important. My posting schedule will probably change some for November. For now, I'll leave you with another quote, this one by C. S. Lewis, who has long been a favorite author of mine, not just for the Chronicles of Narnia (some of which are still some of my favorite stories) but also for his other works. Here is a quote about love and loss and the importance of leaving ourselves open to love - and therefore open also to the possibility of losing what we love. Enjoy.

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."
     - C. S. Lewis, "The Four Loves"

Monday, October 17, 2011

nine years of Nanowrimo

I remember well the first year I participated in National Novel Writing Month. I even remember the fellow English major who introduced me to it. I signed up on October 24th, 2003; that gave me one week to prepare for the start of Nanowrimo. The goal for that November (and every November following) was to write 50,000 words on one story. Theoretically, all you have to do is write 1667 words per day. It sounds easy enough when you think about it, but putting it into practice is where the challenge comes in.

That first Nano, I wrote about 15,000 words. Nowhere near the goal amount, but it was an accomplishment for me. I'd never written that many words on one original story (I'd written that many for a Star Wars fanfic, but I didn't count that then, and if you ask me about it now, I'll deny its entire existence). It was a terrible story but I've always liked the idea of it - a sci-fi piece about a matriarchal/matrilineal society that was slowly falling apart. The next year, I worked on an urban fantasy and made it to 26,000 words. Since then I've written a historical novel, a couple straight-up fantasy stories, a light comedic fantasy, and a historical steampunk mystery. And there are two years that I really don't remember what I wrote at all. Success did not come quickly; it was 2007 when I finally reached that 50,000 word goal before the end of November. I had a three-year winning streak that ended last year because I ended up hating everything about the story I was writing. It happens.

This year, I am a Nano Rebel. The whole point of Nanowrimo is to write a novel - it's right there in the name. This year, though, I'm taking the creative nonfiction route and writing a memoir of my experience of carrying, losing, and mourning Lauren. It would be impossible for me to write about anything else right now. Lauren is my focus; she eventually nudges out all other thoughts in my head, just as she did all during the pregnancy. Since February, nothing else has been foremost on my mind. I can't simply forget her or let her pass away into nothingness. Neither can I sit and dwell on what we've lost, reliving memories and going over "should haves" and mourning "should bes." I must be productive, and since I have always been better with written words, I shall write.

I meant to be writing all this year. It was a simple task that I gave to myself, and I failed miserably at it. On one hand, I wish I devoted more time and attention to the pregnancy, appreciated it for all the special moments it gave me. On the other, I'm glad I didn't, because perhaps the pain would be even greater for having appreciated every moment. And had I written everything down, one manner of catharsis might have been lost to me. So, now I'll write down everything that should have been written down before, and it will be all the more cherished for what it is now: a memorial to Lauren, her story and our story entertwined, just as she herself enveloped us and took over every aspect of our lives.

And perhaps, as I write, others will be comforted, whether they knew Lauren or not. I know I shall find some comfort, just as I know that the experience will be a painful one. I've already shed tears while writing on this blog; I can only imagine the flood that will come as I write Lauren's birth story and the memories of my pregnancy. But it's something I must do.

So, this year, Nanowrimo is more than just a writing exercise, more than just a kick-start to get me going. In years past, I participated in Nanowrimo because I wanted to - this year, I must. It's not just myself I'm writing for, it's for Lauren and Geordie and family and friends who wanted to share in the story of our lives. I cannot share my daughter in a physical sense, but I can do it in spirit.

This year, Nanowrimo is for Lauren.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

blog changes

Every three years or so, I change blogs. I've used Livejournal, MySpace, and now Blogger. I might be changing again soon.

All I've done so far is give this blog a facelift. I'll probably keep tweaking it over the next couple of days/weeks before deciding how I like it or if I'm going to move it or if I'll just start fresh elsewhere. No worries, because I'll keep this space updated with whateve decisions I end up making. Everything should be settled by the beginning of November, because I want to be ready to go for National Novel Writing Month. This blog (or whatever blog) will play a big part of my writing experience next month, so I want it to be all shiny and ready for that 50,000 word goal.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Nanowrimo: 50,000 words FTW!

Drum roll, please . . .


Yes, for the second year in a row, I managed to beat my computer keyboard to death until I got a total of 50077 words onto the screen. Astonishingly enough, most of it makes sense.

Unsurprisingly, the novel is not finished. But, that's okay, because I have most of the major scenes already written or outlined (except for the jailbreak scene, but I don't count that because it came into being quite suddenly last week when one of my characters decided to get herself arrested, and that was NOT part of my original plan). Most of what's left is filling in the gaps and finishing/polishing off important scenes.

I'm very happy with the story so far. I'd intended it to be all about how Dark Man forced the girls to compete to be his bride, but that turned out to be only the first half of the story. The second half (and the major plot, as it turns out, because by the end of the third chapter, Del and Sha'as are talking about this) is about how the girls escape from Dark Man and their attempts to get as far away from him as possible. Characters got shuffled a little bit (the salamanders have a small but still pivotal role), and a few popped up when I hadn't even known they were there (hello, Wollton Symphony Orchestra!). It's been hard work, but it's been a lot of fun to write and discover where the story is trying to go. And pretty much everybody ends up happy.

Even though the story's not finished, I'm proud of myself. It's not easy for me to stick with a story idea long enough to get 50000 on it, much less to have a plan for how I'm going to finish it. Even last years Nano novel fell to the wayside after November - but that was actually due to real-life issues than anything else.

My next goal is to get the rest of the novel outlined by the end of December, if not entirely finished. I've got a busy month coming up, what with at least two parties to attend and a trip to Kamakura planned, but if I keep up with my writing in the evenings, it's entirely possible that I can get at least another 25,000 words written by the end of the year.

And then comes New Year's and a whole week of vacation for which I have nothing planned. I see much editing in my future.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Nanowrimo: 25,000 words

November is halfway over, which means that I should have 25.000 words written so far for National Novel Writing Month. As of right now, I have 25,006 words. And I'm not even done writing for the evening.

Woot!

Unless some unforeseen horrible thing happens to me before the end of the month, I am so totally hitting that 50,000 word target by the 30th. Of the seven years that I have been participating in Nanowrimo, this will be the second time that I've reached the goal.

I was actually a little worried about this year, considering I'm in Japan and doing the whole teaching thing and therefore being completely out of my element. Now that I'm deep into Nanowrimo, I'm thinking that moving to Japan and getting this job is the best thing that could have happened to my writing at this time. For the first time in years, I have a regular writing schedule that I'm sticking to, and I'm easily churning out 1600-2000 words a day, most of it type-written.

This success has mostly to do with my schedule. I've always felt like my most productive hours are the late-night hours. Midnight is truly the magic hour for my creativity. But for the past couple of years, I've been getting up at 6 or 7am, so I was going to bed around midnight and thus not writing at my most productive hours.

Now, however, my hours fit my desired sleep cycle much better. I get up at 9am and usually leave the apartment around 10, either to go to the grocery story to get food for lunch and dinner (both of which I often eat at the school - I mostly do my cooking on the weekends) or to just wonder around for a little bit and get some fresh air and exercise. This gets me to work really early (by 11 most days), but it does give me a little time to check my email before Hitomi-san gets in. Once I get internet up at my apartment, I probably won't leave as early and just check my email at home instead. I usually get back to my apartment between 9-10:30pm, and I generally mess around until 11pm, at which point I sit down to my computer and write until 2am, aka bedtime. That's three hours of writing (with breaks to brush my teeth and do some ab work), but most of it is writing. So, productivity is not a problem right now, and it feels pretty awesome to be able to devote such a large chunk of time to something I've always been passionate about but never seemed to have enough time for.

No guarantees that what I'm writing is worth reading though. Editing will have to come later. For now, I'm just happy to get it out of my head and into the computer.

Friday, October 31, 2008

more insanity

In a few hours, it will be November, and thus will begin NaNoWriMo.

What is NaNoWriMo? It's National Novel Writing Month, where thousands of writers (some actually published! but most not) attempt to write 50,000 words in one month. Why, do you ask? Well, because writing takes focused effort and concentrated practice, and the only way to become a better writer is to write! Setting a specific goal during a specific time is an excellent method for staying on task and reaching the goal.

Also, we're all probably a little insane (but we're also writers, so that goes without saying).

If you've been reading my blogs for a while, you know that I like to write. I like to write so much that I minored in Creative Writing in college, and I'd still like to get my Masters of Fine Arts in Creative Writing in the future. In short, I love to write.

I have been participating in NaNoWriMo since 2003, and last year was the first year that I met the 50,000 word goal. It was not easy, but it was one of the most fulfilling things I've done in my life. The novel (still uncompleted) was set in Jacksonville during WWII, and I still work on it every once in a while. For NaNoWriMo, however, one must start fresh, with a mere idea and 0 words.

This year, I am stepping away from historical fiction and moving back into the fantasy realm. I got the idea from a Jonathon Coulton song called "Skullcrusher Mountain." The plot: a powerful sorcerer decides that he wishes to marry, so he kidnaps several girls and brings them to his castle and forces them to compete for the right to marry him. Except, none of them want to marry him. It's a fantasy version of a reality show! Maybe it's a little loopy, but I'm enjoying it. My cast of characters includes the wife-hunting sorcerer, his house steward (who is equally powerful but only uses his magic to clean house), a mute female main character who is the heroine of the story, a cannibal, a vice-laden holy man, and two gigantic salamanders who breathe fire (except one of them doesn't because he thinks it's bad for his health).

Anyway, the next month should be an exceptionally crazy journey, what with taking on NaNoWriMo and keeping up with my teaching responsibilities as well. But that's what makes NaNoWriMo so wonderful! Writing 50,000 words while still managing to have something resembling a life!

So, at the stroke of midnight, I will be planted at my desk in my little apartment, ready and willing to make this the BEST NaNoWriMo ever! It IS NaNoWriMo's 10th anniversary, after all - time to pull out all the stops!

for more information on NaNoWriMo: http://www.nanowrimo.org