I want my internet!

I have another internet appointment next Monday, and I'm really REALLY hoping this can be resolved. I've got so much that I want to post about - it's amazing how much I've done in the past two months - but I don't even really have the time to post something I prepared at home. (That, and I keep forgetting my jump drive.) There's not much time for me to use the computer at work anyway. My manager get crazy busy sometimes; she's had hour long V-chats three days this week, and then there's a crapload of paperwork to do. Besides, my schedule's so full that I barely have time to check the incoming emails from head office.

All of this I could accept if only I had internet at my apartment.

I'd go to an internet cafe, but there is ONE in Moriya, and it's a LONG way from the station and it would take forever for me to get there. There are three around Shin-Matsudo station, but I don't know when I'd have time to actually go to them. My working days are long and busy - I leave home around 10am and get home around 11pm, and most of that time is actually spent at the school. My days off have also been active lately, what with going places with Benni-sensei and going off to meet with other friends. I don't mind that so much, because it's much more preferable than sitting around me apartment all day. Not having the internet has certainly made me a more active person.

But it'd be nice to have, all the same. If my problems persist next Monday, I guess I'll have to figure out something else. Most people tell me it will get solved - but I know at least two other people who have been trying to get internet for 3-5 months and they STILL don't have it. They don't live in the same apartment building (in fact, they live in completely different cities), but their problems sound a lot like mine. And so far as I can tell, I'm using the same procedure as the other people in my building.

[Speaking of this building, you'd think I'd get some help from GEOS because everyone who lives there is a GEOS employee. Not so. My trainer says, "Keep working at it, you'll get it fixed." And then she ignores me until she decides to chastise me about our school's money numbers. My manager has been left with the brunt of being the middle man between the internet company and me, and she's been incredibly helpful despite being so far separated from Shin-Matsudo. She had to contact another school's manager to find out how their NET got internet. I'd ask them myself, but my neighbors are kind of hermity. They don't seem to even interact with each other all that much. They sit in their apartments and play video games or watch movies with their girlfriends, all of whom laugh in annoying high-pitched squeals. I prefer my Japanese neighbors in Isesaki. Granted, I prefer everything in Isesaki over Shin-Matsudo, but that's just life, isn't it?]

Anyway, that's that. Other than the internet and the poor location of my apartment (if I want/need anything, I have to walk ten minutes to the station to get it, not to mention that 40-60 minutes commute), things are going well. I'm busy at work, but the classes are fine and the students are great. I've got a routine going, and that's helped a lot. Plus, I'm not sitting at home and doing nothing, and that's the most important thing to me. I hadn't realized how tired I was of just being a lump.

more internet disappointment

I do not understand the whys or hows of Japanese internet service; all I know is that it's causing me a major headache and inconvience, and I do not see the reason for this. Communication in general doesn't seem to be a problem, so I'm having a hard time figuring out why getting connected has been such a hassle for me.

I will say this - despite my obvious inability to speak Japanese, my proposed ISP has been really diligent about staying in contact with me and trying to keep me updated. Even the internet guy who came to evaluate my lines did his best to communicate to me the problem. (though, at one point, he just looked at me and basically said, "You don't understand any of this, do you?" Ironically, I did understand that. Otherwise, he was absolutely correct.) After Thursday's failed attempt, I thought I would have to contact NTT again myself, but they called me on Friday to set up another appointment. Fortunately, I was in Narita with Benni-sensei, so she talked to them for me. The next appointment they can make for a Monday is June 1st.

Seriously, June 1st. And I'm not even sure if that's an appointment to get internet connected or just to do more assessing/wiring. Benni-sensei (who is not internet savvy at all) didn't quite get the explanation.

I'm now mildly irritated, but the major problem is that I don't know who/what to be mildly irritated at. I've settled on GEOS, because this is their crummy apartment building and if I was still in a Leo Palace, I wouldn't be having this problem. I am extremely unhappy with these living arrangements, and I don't feel guilty about pinning it on GEOS. It's a stupid setup and the most assitance I've received from my boss was, "You could take some pictures of the apartment, and I'll try to help you as best I can. But honestly, I'm not sure there's anything I can do for you."

Fine, except that my main complaints about the apartment have little to do with the fact that it looks terrible and rundown. I really don't care what the place looks like - all I ask for is peace and quiet, internet convienence, and a sense of safety. I have yet to acheivement 100% satisfication on any of those items, though I don't feel that safety is much of an issue (still, the fact that I have a security system and a door with four locks on it keeps me on alert).

Mostly, though, I just wish I had internet capabilities. I'm not patient enough to wait another full month to be able to mindlessly surf the web again, so I'm wondering if looking into other internet option will be worthwhile.

Blargh, why can't things just be simple?

mild disappointment

I was supposed to get my internet hooked up today, but once again, the internet gods hate me and are making my life miserable. I'm not 100% what the internet guy was trying to tell me, but I'm certain that it was not good news. I think it can be done, but not before next week. He told me to call and set up another appointment for after May 5th.

While I miss talking to my parents and my SBFF, my greatest concern at the moment is that I'm going to miss the Kentucky Derby. For 17 years, the first Saturday of May has been a day of horse-racing devotion for me, the Derby being one of the few races that I still closely monitor. And, of course, Heather and I added new traditions to it, making it even more wonderful than it already is.

I'm not normally one to get all maudlin about skipping/missing/forgetting old traditions, but the Derby has always had a special place in my heart. I'm not even sure when I'm going to be able to find out the results or watch the race online. As yet, I haven't been able to think up a new Japanese-themed Derby Day tradition (having a Skype party with Heather was going to be about it, but that's out too). Eating basashi is the only horse-related thing I can come up with, and that just seems wrong.

Okay, not that I think eating basashi is wrong, because it is delicious and I would gladly eat it again. It just doesn't seem . . . appropriate for the Derby. Basashi being raw horse. Yes, I ate raw horse, and I enjoyed it. Don't be squeamish (you know who you are). The only thing I didn't like about it was the massive amount of garlic dumped on top of it, but that was easily removed and left just a hint of the garlicly flavor. But you see why I wouldn't want to add this to my Derby traditions. I'd be just as happy with a hot brown or a piece of grasshopper pie or even a super-sweet mint julep.

The only plus I see in this situation is that I won't have to get up at 5am to watch the race, and I was plenty willing to do that.

philosophical addendum

I guess the major problem I'm having with this move to Ito Yokado is that I don't want to be taken advantage of by my company. Why is that so wrong?

I understand well and good that a corporation will do what it has to in order to survive - but why should I give up my happiness and my integrity for it? Especially when said company has shown no concern for me personally? Why are people expected to take all the crap their company shovels out to them and eat it with smiles on their faces? Why do we have to settle for doing something we don't like simply because "it's our job?" Am I just some kind of idiot who thinks you should do only what makes you happy?

Look, I know life is hard, and sometimes, you've got to take the bad with the good. But, honestly, why would I lay down and let this company walk all over me? Why shouldn't I fight for what I want? Why shouldn't I try to do what's best for me? Why shouldn't I enjoy my job?

What makes it worse is that I have been enjoying my job. I LOVE my job as it is right now. Shouldn't I fight to keep it? Shouldn't I try to hold on to it? Is that wrong?

All I want is to be happy. Is that too much to ask?

not as mad as it seems

The problem with text is that you can't really hear the degree of emotion in the words. Sarcasm rarely translates well through text. It's hard to make sentimentality work without sounding cheesy or treacly. Apparently, frustrated confusion comes out more like anger than anything else.

My last post seems to have been interpreted as angry, so I want to clear the air a little. When I read the post, it doesn't sound terribly angry to me - but then, I know how I was feeling at the time, and there's no word in the English language to describe that feeling. It was (and for the most part, still is) a combination of frustration and bafflement. Frustration that I seem to have little control over my livelihood and bafflement at how I'm being treated by people who told me that they were here to help me. I also feel that I was lied to, which does make me a little mad. More importantly, though, I'm disappointed by it. I've communicated my wants to my bosses - indeed, I was asked to do so - but thus far, I've mostly been ignored. I think I have the right to be a little angry. I also think I have the right to be more than a little frustrated, because this is my life we're talking about, and I'm the one who should have the most control over it.

Let me say this: I don't talk to anyone at GEOS this way. After all, this is a blog, and let's face it, bloggers are stereotypically angry people. Blogging's a harmless way to get it all out. I feel it's okay to have an angry blog once in a while, considering that most of my blogs are about how much I enjoy my life here in Japan. I still love my life here in Japan, and that's one reason I'm upset - taking away my adult classes is going to take away a lot of what I love about life. I happen to be one of those people who believes that if you're not happy in your job, what's the point of doing it?

It's difficult for me to accept my lack of control in this situation, especially because my trainers made me feel like I had some say in my job. It also makes the possibility of going into a CDM situation worse because I don't trust them anymore. When they say they'll give me support, I don't believe it. When they say they'll do what they can for me, I don't believe it. They said that three weeks ago, and I'm worse off than I was before.

I'm leaving the post up, because it is how I felt that night when I got home. I was confused, and I was frustrated, but I wasn't really mad. I will amend one sentence, and that's my closing statement. It's true that they can put me in a CDM classroom and tell me to teach it, and it's true that I'll do what I can - but I doubt very much that I'll enjoy it. The only thing that really made me truly angry was being told that I would learn to enjoy it. That's an assumption of character that should not be made, especially considering I had just told him that of all my classes, I like the CDM ones the least. That he made that statement proved to me that he hadn't been listening to me and that it was on my shoulders to take the job and be happy about it. But he's not the one teaching there, I am, and I know what I'm capable of. And after 4 months of enduring CDM classes because it's a necessary part of my job, I know well enough that I don't want to spend all of my working time with kids. I do not like playing the games, I do not like singing the songs, and most of all, I hate the puppets. I'm afraid I cannot put a lot of effort into that which I do not like. This is what I meant: they can put me in that classroom, but that doesn't mean I will excel at or enjoy it. I will do what I did when I was teaching American high school: I will survive. I will do what is necessary. That is all. That was a rewardless job. I expect this one will be fairly similar.

And I understand that GEOS has to do what it has to do, but I do not believe that it needs to stomp all over its employees and customers while it does it. It will do so, of course, but I think it's only reasonable to react with a little emotion. I'm a human being not a Tetris block. They can't just decide what to do with me and expect me to have no feelings about it whatsoever. I'll get over, yes, but I won't forget it. And I have enough of my youth left in me to feel that I should be doing what I want to do, what I like to do. I will hold to my contract, but I will not be treated as anything less than a human being. I deserve a little bit of respect.

There, that's what's really bothering me about this situation. I'm expected to respect my company and my bosses, but I have received no respect from them. And I have to sit back and watch them disrespect my students as well, and I am unable to do anything about it. That's the problem. That's what upsets me.

It's still a hell of a way to run a railroad. I will be civil, and I will be cooperative, but I will not forfeit my own happiness for a company that treats me as a thing, as something to be shuffled around for their needs and not mine. Maybe that makes me selfish, but I believe I was put on this world to be happy, and that is my foremost concern. I'm not a self-proclaimed cynic for nothing.

a failure to communicate

If only I could say it was a language issue, but honestly, I think it's more of a listening issue.

The lady in charge of the Codomo school at Ito Yokado (henceforth known as That Woman) has spent the past two weeks telling us simple folk at GEOS Isesaki what's doing. She does this in such a way that Hitomi-san will drop whatever she's doing and work on whatever it is That Woman wants her to do, despite the fact That Woman is not her boss and, indeed, has no right to tell any of us what to do. She's been making all sorts of decisions and insuinating to Hitomi-san that they are all official.

Note: That Woman has yet to speak directly to me, but she feels she has free reign to decide what to do with me.

Further, That Woman has also yet to have any sort of communication with my trainers, meaning that none of them have approved any of the decisions she's made. These include my schedule and the addition of another GEOS teacher to come to Ito Yokado two days a week to teach. Apparently, she's unconcerned that this other teacher is transferring to another school entirely and isn't available to come to Ito Yokado at all.

I spoke to one of my trainers last Friday, and he assured me that nothing That Woman has decided is official or even likely to happen. Any firm decisions made about me will come from GEOS, not from GEOS Codomo, and thus I should generally ignore anything That Woman says. Which I will gladly do.

So, as far as what the hell I'm doing in the near future is concerned, I know as little about it now as I did two weeks ago. But I do know I should generally ignore That Woman and wait to hear from my trainers before panicking about anything. Also, I am not in danger of becoming a Codomo-only teacher, which is perhaps my greatest fear, the mere thought of which makes me break into a cold sweat. The idea of teaching 30 classes of nothing but children is straight out of a nightmare for me.

The other problem is my co-workers. Don't get me wrong: I adore my co-workers, and they've shown a loyalty to me that I don't think I really deserve. But they're human, so they can be madly infuriating sometimes. One of my male students observed that giving advice to Japanese women is futile because, though they will listen and acknowledge the advice, they will ultimately reject it and continue to bemoan the situation, even if it's a good and reliable solution. I must, sadly, agree with him.

Hitomi-san is the more practical of my co-workers, recognizing the possibility of a bad situation when she sees one and not doing too much moaning about it. She tends to panic though, as she did on Thursday, when she called my trainer 10 times and emailed him thrice. I appreciate her concern, but I suggested that perhaps she was overdoing it a bit.

Benni-sensei, on the other hand, maintains a sentimental outlook on everything and becomes a confused, uncomprehending child whenever faced with something she doesn't like. When my trainer came to visit me last week, she spent half an hour trying to convince him not to close the school, like it was his decision in the first place. Once she gets an idea into her head, she clings to it, no matter how impractical it may be. She's the oldest of us, has more worldly experience, but it seems like sometimes we have to look out for her. She's forgetful, consistently late, terribly laidback, and a major pushover when it comes to kids. I get the feeling she spent too much time in California.

Anyway, my situation remains unchanged. For now, I'm definitely going to Ito Yokado, and the intent is for me to teach all of my old classes. That is, if my students don't all quit when they see how ridiculously small and inconvienent the Ito Yokado school is. However, I've had many of my students tell me (or Benni-sensei) how pleased they are that I will be teaching there, and that many of them want to continue their classes only if I'm their teacher. That's enough to put a bit of a thaw around the cold cockles of my heart. I'm unworthy of such loyalty.

is it karmic retribution or just bad luck?

I'm starting to wonder if I inadvertently pissed off some cosmic deity that is now wreaking physical and emotional revenge on me. This has been a pretty crummy week so far, and it's not even over yet!

It started on Sunday, of course, with my crash on the bike (which was entirely my fault, I admit that). The weather's been pretty grey and crummy all week, and I'm officially sick of winter and ready for spring to get here. February is a dreary month, and it's that time of the year for the winter blues. Add in all this uncertainty about my future with GEOS, and this is the first week in Japan that I've felt the on-comings of a blue funk.

The situation with the school has been escalating, though I didn't realize it until today. Usually when I see Benni-sensei and Hitomi-san conferring quietly in the office, I mind my own business and let them come to me if it is my business. Turns out, today's conference was. After my afternoon class, I went in to mark attendance, and Hitomi-san told me that she had been told by the Ito Yokado school boss that she should make a schedule for me that combines my current schedule with the NET's schedule at the Kids' school. Essentially, I'm intended to take over his position when he leaves in April.

This is highly laughable - and also insane. The NET at Ito Yokado has 74 students and 30 classes; I have ~45 students and 22 classes. Also, I am supposed to take over Benni-sensei's students to, which would give me maybe 10-12 more classes (most of her students have said they prefer to quit). On this schedule of mine, I have an estimated 55 classes.

I never claim to be good at math, but even I realized that this wasn't adding up. My days are 9 hours long, and I work 5 days. That's 45 weekly hours for classses. Notice the number difference: I would have to work 11 hour days to get all those classes in, without breaks, the majority of them kids' classes.

Well, Hitomi-san was having a mental breakdown trying to get it to work, even though I kept telling her that it was impossible, and she finally called her boss to find out what the hell the deal was. I've made it pretty clear that I don't want to teach only kids classes, and I've been falling back on my boss's reassurance that that wasn't going to happen. However, Hitomi-san was informed that I was slated to take over the NET position at Ito Yokado and that the only classes to be sacrificed were the adult classes. GEOS has made that clear enough already, practically encouraging us to convince our students to quit rather continue their contracts at Ito Yokado.

This did - and to an extent still does - infuriate me. In January, I told my boss that under no circumstances did I want to become a kids only teacher, and he told me that wasn't what was going to happen. Either I go to Ito Yokado in essentially the same capacity I'm in now or I go to a new school - that's what I was told. Now, the Ito Yokado head is telling Hitomi-san that my boss "lied to" or "misinformed" me. Also, she told Hitomi-san not to show me the schedule or even speak to me about the proposed move to Ito Yokado. Thankfully, she ignored this.

I spent most of the evening working myself into an agitated state and consuming large quantities of chocolate. Because I have not been "officially" apprised of the situation, Hitomi-san didn't want me to contact my boss and demand an explanation. Instead, she sent him a harried email, to which he replied that he was "occupied" but that someone would contact me tomorrow. She gave him my available times, apologized to me profusely, and suggested that I not agree to anything that had to do with Ito Yokado, to tell my boss that I wanted to move and request an adult school and nothing else. She also told me the head of the Ito Yokado school was crazy, but I'd already figured that out.

Here's why I'm mad: I was told that I would go to Ito Yokado with my students, separate from the kids' school. I would not be replacing the NET there, who has been coerced into staying even though he's wanted to leave since October. And now, I'm starting to wonder if this was the plan - to have me replace him. I don't want to believe that my boss deliberately lied to me, so I'm anxious to talk to him to get the story straight. Because if I find out I'm being tricked into going to Ito Yokado as the only NET, I'll be very displeased indeed.

I talked with Benni-sensei a while after our last classes, then headed home. I decided that I needed a bath to relax me, so after my shower, I stayed in the bathtub to fill it up and relax. I'm sitting there, washing my still scabby knees and thinking about the screw-job that GEOS is doing to me and about how idiotic and enfuriating the whole thing is.

The next thing I know, I'm having some weird "Twilight Zone" moment where I have no idea where I am or what I'm doing. Complete disorientation, total black-out. And I'm aware of a dull pain on my forehead. I touch my fingers to the sore spot and discover that I have a ginormous goose egg developing. I think what happened is that the warmth of the air and the water overwhelmed me (taking Japanese hot baths is a lot like taking a sauna), and I passed out for a few seconds. I've gotten drowsy in them before, but I've never lost consciousness, until this time. I hit my head on the sink, and that brought me around again. I must have hit it pretty hard, because not only was there a large and lovely goose egg, but there's also a little scratch near the top.

My first thought was, "oh, crap I hope I don't have a concussion," especially after I stood up and was hit by a wave of dizziness and nausea. Nothing came of it, and I didn't feel confused and the dizziness passed quickly, so I figured I was mostly alright. My main problem now is that my arm is going to fall off because I'm holding this thing of whipped cream to my head.

I don't have any ice, but I do have this soft plastic bag of whipped cream. I used it on my knee the other day, and now I'm holding it to my head. My arm hurts. My head feels better - still a bit of pain, but it's very dull, and the swelling has gone down some. There's a bit of warmth, but that's to be expected. It's not fever, just some heat around the goose egg. And my hands are really cold too, so the heat feels even stronger.

Actually, my head feels a lot clearer now. I'm still mad that I'm being played like a chess piece in the grand GEOS scheme, but perhaps I'm also thinking about it too much and letting it get to me. I'm taking things too seriously, worrying about something that I can't do anything about yet. I should focus instead on what I want, what I need to do for myself. I also shouldn't get worked up about things when I don't have all the information. I'll speak to my boss, lay out my concerns and desires, and let it go from there. It's really all I can do.

In the meantime, I'll remember to pay more attention to my surroundings, to pay attention to the good things that are around me. One thing I'm still enjoying immensely is my classes. I hope that's something that never changes.

Also, gyoza party. All the gyoza I could eat (which amounted to too much), and good company as a bonus. Also, when our students came into the school, they all said pretty much the same thing: "Smells like a chinese restaurant!" We smelled like it too, on our clothes. Eau de gyoza, very nice.

the dangers of night riding

I've mentioned before (in my Kamakura post) that my night vision isn't that great. I know this and even accept it, but apparently, my subconscious feels the need to remind me of it every once in a while.

I've ridden home from the Isesaki train station at night a number of times now, and it's lit rather decently, so I thought I knew my way around it alright. To get from the bike park to the road, you have to cross a street and get up on the sidewalk. Well, I forgot that the sidewalk had a curb to it; I saw it too late and plowed right into it. I'm not even sure if I had time to hit the brakes. One moment, I was thinking, "Oh, crap, I'm going to hit that curb, I should do something about it," and the next, I was flying off my bike. I always thought that flying over handlebars was an exaggeration, but it turns out that it's entirely possible if you hit something head on. I didn't exactly shoot over the handlebars, but I did get kinda flung over them, to painful results. Of course, I landed heavily on my knees, but my right foot got caught on the pedal and sort of broke my fall on that side. It also pulled my shoe off.

My initial reaction to this was typical for me: I laughed uproariously at my complete and total idiocy. Yes, when I injure myself, I laugh. A string of expletives also came out as I berated myself, but mostly I laughed. I also inspected the knees of my jeans because I could feel that my knees were badly damaged and I was wearing my favorite pair. Miraculously, they came through unscathed. My knees themselves were not so lucky, especially my left one. I could feel dampness and immediate swelling.

I was still gathering my wits about me when I noticed two young Japanese men approaching slowly on their own bikes. I didn't think I was able to get myself up yet, so I tried to scoot out of the way to let them pass. I can only imagine what they were thinking (crazy drunk foreigner, probably - I was, after all, sitting on the sidewalk with only one shoe and laughing about the fact that I'd just crashed), but they very kindly stopped to help me. One them picked up my bike and inspected it for damages while the other helped me up. They were very nice, and one of them pointed out my completely useless light and kept saying, "Broke? Broke? Need fix." I'm not sure if he thought it was broken in the fall or if he was telling me to get it fixed (and therefore avoid any further accidents), but I appreciated the concern. I've been meaning to get it fixed ever since I got the bike.

They asked me several times if I was alright, and after making a show of inspecting myself and thanking them profusely in Japanese (which is one thing I can do and do well - they certainly appreciated it and shook their heads and said, "no problem, it's ok, it's ok"), they continued on their way. I took a few more moments to collect myself before setting off on my journey home, which takes about 20 minutes.

I immediately noticed that my handlebars were a bit cockeyed, and my tires were definitely a little flatter than before. There wasn't enough light to really see how bad the damage is, so I'll have to do a more thorough inspection in the morning. I'll probably have to take it to Cainz Home and get some work done on it. The least I should do is get that stupid light fixed.

That was the least of my problems, though. It rained the past two days, and now that lovely mountain wind is blowing through the valley, and I AM SO SICK OF IT THAT I COULD SCREAM. My students just shrug and say, "That's Gunma!" but they're not out riding their bikes around in it, are they (well, maybe Naofumi-san is, but he's a road racer and is therefore more capable of dealing with such conditions, and when I mention the weather, he just grimaces and complains about it too). It's bad enough when my knees don't hurt, but I thought I was going to pass out from sheer exhaustion. However, this did assure me that my knee hadn't been completely destroyed; I could still muster some form of locomotion, which I doubt would be possible if I'd broken my kneecap.

Currently, I am in great pain, so knowing that I was able to walk and ride on it comforts me. The numbness in my knee (either from the initial pain or the incredible cold) has worn off, and great bolts of agony rip down my knee into my leg whenever I move. I have a very beautiful strawberry forming on that left knee, and it's swelling to a nice size. My right knee is a little skinned and swollen, but it's otherwise fine. It might have a little bruising tomorrow, but I'm sure the left one will be the show stealer. Well, at least I'll have a story to tell my students.

Speaking of students, I do have some bad news about GEOS Isesaki, but I feel that I've had enough hardships for tonight, and I don't really want to write about it. Tomorrow, I'll get to it. Right now, I just want to eat a lot of chocolate and watch a movie or something that doesn't require a lot of my energy.

And, just for the sake of entertainment, chew on this: I slept through an earthquake this morning. Well, not exactly slept - it did wake me up. At first, I thought my (already very strange) dream was getting weirder, and then I realized I was awake. It wasn't strong at all, just a weak shaking, like someone picking up the apartment building and jostling it about. I heard some dishes clanking about in the sink, but that was it. It didn't last very long; I'm not entirely sure because I was half-asleep. I also feel immediately back to sleep when I heard birds start singing again.

When I woke up, I went online to see what I could find about it, mostly to prove to myself that it wasn't a dream. An earthquake did indeed occur, just a little before 7am, approximately 18 miles off the coast and of 5.8 magnitude. Apparently, no damages were reported.

It turns out that this is not the first earthquake since I arrived in Japan: there was one in December too, also off the coast and would probably have been felt inland. I do not recall this at all.

the dog and pony continue to perform well

So, in the end, my evaluation was along the lines of, "um . . . so, I don't really have any advice to give you because, really, you're doing everything right."

Sweet.

Benni-sensei apparently had no concept of an "observation," because she generally acted like the guy was there to nitpick the school to death. Whenever he was around, she found an excuse to not be in the same room. And she kept asking my why I needed someone to come and watch me. I think she was more bothered by it than I was, because I was just "whatever." It had to be done. On the plus side, she and Hitomi-san could NOT stop talking about my complete and utter awesomeness. Seriously, it was almost embarrassing. But nice to hear. I really like my co-workers - they're not always the most reliable people, but they mean well. We get along, and that's important.

All in all, a pretty good day, made even better by the knowledge that I won't have any kids' classes the week of the 21st. After the Christmas lesson, I say goodbye to the kids until January.

Not that I have a major problem with any of my kids . . . okay, not the older ones. But, I swear, one day, I'm going to take my little five-year old terrors and plant them in separate corners with their noses to the wall for the entire class. Just ONCE, I'd really appreciate it if they didn't act like they were just released from the bowels of hell. I am little more than a babysitter in this class, and I've pretty much adopted the same attitude with them as I did with my ninth-graders: if you sit down and don't gad about the room, I'll be happy. These boys have no concept of keeping their foul, vile, germ-ridden hands to themselves. I have to hide my whiteboard markers, and lately I've been locking my door with the hook latch because one of the little darlings went in and started drawing on the board with a highlighter. Brat. I can't wait until he gets into school and gets some manners pounded into him. I like him better when he's just woken up from a nap and he's practically comatose. He doesn't do any work, but at least he's not shrieking at the top of his lungs.

Alright, speaking of children, here's my mini-rant about my kids' classes. First, what the hell is up with organizing them by age? I have an 8y/o girl who is at a higher level than a 12y/o boy, but she's in the low class and he's in the high class? Okay . . . figure that one out.

Second, the book for the 3-5 y/o class is a piece of crap. It's organized oddly, the dialogue is funky and generally not easy for the students, and its teacher's guide is mostly useless. The book assumes that you have a full class and therefore need to spend a lot of time making sure that each child knows what hopscotch is. It also seems to be under the misapprehension of believing that toddlers have a long-enough attention span to be interested in listening to some creepy voices on a cd. My boys don't have that capability. And they're not stupid, so they get the idea of the lesson pretty quick. And if I'm getting bored of making them run around in circles to get to the corner with the correct picture, then they are too. Wait, I take that back, I never get tired of watching them run around in circles and collapse in an exhausted heap on the floor. It keeps them quiet for a few fleeting seconds.

The older kids' books are actually not so bad. The phonics are straightforward and advance at a good pace. The conversation is mostly natural, and the vocabulary is stuff that they like and should know. Honestly, I like my kids (and thus did sara-sensei become a pod person). They're usually pretty good sports about things, and they do try really hard. They all do really well with phonics and listening, but speaking is very weak for them. The only thing I can figure is that the previous teacher didn't have them doing a lot of comprehension work - just listening and repeating. I only have 2-3 kids who can respond to questions with full sentences, when about 8 of them should be able to do that. They know the words, but they don't know how to use the language. So, that's becoming a big focus for me - getting them to create simple sentences such as "I like" or "I don't like." Because they can answer if I ask "do you like?" and that means they can use the full sentence. Something to work on in the future.

But yeah, I kids' classes are mostly fun. They're lively, alert, and willing. Who knew it was possible that kids could be so cool?

Of course, none of them are teenagers yet, and that could be a whole different kettle of fish in the coming year.

Christmas madness

So, you think it's mildly irritating when Christmas paraphernalia is put on display before Thanksgiving? What if it showed up before Halloween?

That's right. My first trip to the grocery store with William, and what's there to greet me? A ginormous display of Christmas cards, wrapping, bows, and other things that I'm not sure what they're for. There were some Halloween-themed things out in the aisles in the store itself, but it was rather telling that the Christmas stuff was prominently arranged. And since the passing of Halloween, the Christmas items have expanded, creeping into the store to take the place of odd Halloween goodies. I'd take pictures of it, but that doesn't seem like a polite thing to do in a grocery store. The other day, I was in a convenie, and Christmas music was playing over the loudspeaker. I thought I was going nuts, but I went to the grocery store the next day - MORE Christmas music.

Also, now that I have my tv working, I notice that there are a lot of Christmas-related commercials on. I had kinda been under the impression that Christmas wasn't a big holiday in Japan, but I'm starting to disbelieve that. Unless we've already hit a peak in Christmas decorating, in which case, I'd feel a little relief. However, I get the feeling this is just the start of a much bigger thing, especially considering that Benni-sensei is a self-professed Christmas freak. She's already been playing Christmas music nearly non-stop, and she's started teaching her students carols. I'm still trying to figure out what to do with my kids' classes other than the special Christmas lesson in the book. I'd like to have them make snowflakes, but other than that, I've got nothing so far. Still brain-storming on that one.

In the meantime, I've just got to attempt to hold on to my sanity for the next six weeks. Beacuse, yeah, I like Christmas and all. But there's such a thing as TOO MUCH Christmas.

not quite perfect

Let me begin by saying that I love Japan. But I am a self-profressed cynic and curmudgeon, and there's no way I'm going to say that Japan is perfect. Much as I love this country, there are some things I'd change if I could. Because I can't, I accept them as they are. But I'd thought I should take a break from singing the praises of Japan and vent a few grievances.

coffee
Nothing wrong with it as it is. It's strong, which I like. Seems to me that most Japanese drink their coffee black, but sugar and cream (even the disgusting non-dairy kind) is readily available. There's also some kind of syrup with flowery labels, but I'm still not sure what it is, and it doesn't do much in the way of sweetening things, so far as I can tell. Unfortunately, I have been unable to locate Splenda, which I've come to prefer over regular sugar. No, the problem with coffee is the price. You think Starbucks is expensive in the States? Try paying the equivalent of $4.50 cents for a small cup of regular coffee. Ouch. At Mister Donut, the coffee was cheaper (about $2.60), but the serving size was even smaller! Fortunately, both Benni-sensei and Hitomi-san drink coffee, so it's in ample supply at the school. All I have to do is buy sugar and creamer, and I'm set. Still, it's a ridiculous price to pay for coffee.

my utter and complete lack of a dryer
Domestic duties are not my strong suit. I have no problem with the washer - it's simple enough to use, and it does what I need it to do. However, I would kill to be able to fit a dryer into this place. I cannot figure out how to keep my jeans from drying crunchy and stiff. My towels are flatter than the Kansas plains. I can't deal with it. As soon as I'm mobile on a bike, I'm going down to a nearby coin laundry and scouting for dryers. I know they exist in Japan! I've seen them in stores! I've got to be able to find one to use somewhere! My work suits are fine (they just need some ironing, which I can do without much problem), but the crunchy jeans are beginning to get to me.

the size of my bathing room and my kitchen
The whole apartment is small, and I'm okay with that, really. This is just something that's going to take some serious adjustment on my part, because I can't help being a big, clumsy gaijin. Also, I'm clinging to some fairly American ways of doing things. Like drying off in the bathroom after getting out of the shower. I can only assume that most Japanese don't do this, because it's pretty damn difficult to do given the space available in the bathroom. This is true of the kitchen, too, in which there is no counter space at all. I knew this was going to be a problem, I just had no idea how difficult it would be to actually deal with it.

having to bag my own groceries
Okay, this is just because I'm lazy. But, at least I'll admit it. I just really hate having to bag my own stuff.

mosquitoes and spiders
Holy crap, mosquitoes are everywhere, and they come in droves. Whenever I kill one, it seems like two more come to replace it. It's freezing outside, and yet, there are mosquitoes. It makes no sense. Even Hitomi-san was complaining about them the other day. Also, there are spiders. Duh, it's not like I expected Japan to have no spiders. And most of them aren't too big. The biggest I've seen have been in house gardens or in the bushes in front of restaurants, and they're about the size of the banana spiders that are all over the place in Florida. I'm fine with that, as long as they're hanging out in their webs and not bothering me. I'm just wondering how they manage to survive this COLD and very STRONG wind that has been blowing every night for the past week. They're apparently more resilient than I would be.

And, um, that's about it so far. I have yet to come up against the "you need your gaijin card to get in here/do this/buy that thing," so I consider myself fairly lucky in that regard. Most people have been very nice and polite and willing to help as much as possible (though, according to Hitomi-san, the woman who processed my information for my gaijin card was "making things more difficult than they should have been - she was very grumpy," but the woman has a government job and I can't say I expected anything more than what we got).

Overall, Japan's pros definitely outweigh its cons, as far as I'm concerned. I'm just feeling grouchy after dealing with the internet, which is irritating no matter which country you're in.

seriously?

Okay, so I was going to post two videos of my apartment today, and I even came down to the office on my day off to do it.

You'll notice there aren't any videos posted, yes? Because I just spent the past TWO hours waiting for blogger to upload ONE measly three-minute video, except it wasn't finished but I cancelled it anyway because I have other things I want to do with my life besides sit in front of a computer watching it process something that I don't know what. I have no idea if it had another hour to go or if it would be done in thirty seconds. Either way, I was done with it.

I guess I'll just go back and take pictures of my apartment instead. Not as exciting, but until I can get vids uploaded to blogger without it taking half a century, that's what I'm doing.

Also, because I'm now in a grouchy mood, I'm going to post my grievances with Japan as well.

the skinny on my internet situation

I still do not have internet in my apartment, which is the only thing causing me any grievance at this moment. My rent includes internet, and it is supposed to be super-easy to use, but so far, I have only met a wall of non-cooperation. For now, my internet is reduced to my use of the computer at work, and that means no Skype for me. I am hoping to have this rememedied by next week, but I must rely on the availability of the Japanese teacher to explain the (Japanese) instructions to me. William (the previous teacher) thinks it is broken somehow, so he couldn't show me how to use it or what to do to get it fixed. I think it requires making a phone call to Leo Palace, and I'm not sure if I can do that on my own, given my extremely limited command of Japanese.

I can't promise it will be up and running by next week, but I'm hopeful. It is a challenge I am willing to face, and I will be victorious! Until then, I'll do what I can with what I have.