Week 36: preparations

If one has not been around babies much (which is to say, if one has not been in a caretaking role), one really has no idea just what exactly a baby needs. I don't mean that in the way of "Holy crap, this baby needs so much stuff!" so much as I mean "Holy crap, this baby needs stuff and I don't know where to start." Fortunately, plenty of people are willing to offer up handy-dandy lists of the absolute essentials, though upon reading these lists, one might well start exclaiming about the amount of stuff required. Which will lead one onward to lists that insist don't really need all that much and frugality is possible. And these lists will bring about the realization that this is starting to get out of control.

In short, the past couple weeks have been seeing a lot of Geordie's hard-earned money go towards baby things. Of course, the bigger items were bigger purchases - the crib, the changing table, and the mattress/bedding set - and we managed to get them for fair prices. The only thing I felt was really over-priced was the mattress/bedding set, mostly because it includes a pillow, comforter, and coverlet, none of which we'll need for several months. We will use them eventually, so it all evens out in the end. Plus, I actually liked the design on this set.

A nice, simple, brightly colored (but not too garish) geometric pattern. Just what I wanted! I tend to shy away from cutesy animal patterns, no matter what the color scheme is. I don't even much like inanimate objects (like planes and trains for boys, or bows and hearts for girls). Simple geometrics attract my eye, so that's what we've been buying. When Lucky's old enough to pick out her own bedding, she can have what she wants. Until then, I'm buying stuff I can stand to look at. Same thing goes for the color scheme.

The finished product! It wasn't my first choice, but it looks nice enough, and I like the storage space underneath. None of the furniture matches, unfortunately, but it's not like we can decorate properly anyway. The walls are concrete, so we can't hang anything, and we used cream-colored curtains that I'd had in the Moriya apartment. But it's a room, and it's comfy, and that's what's important!

We ended up getting the crib from Babies R' Us, but the changing table is from IKEA. I read a lot of pros and cons about having a changing table, and I decided that this was one of our essentials. Also, from what I read, a lot of people chose to forgo changing tables because it was more convenient to change diapers in whatever room of the house they were in, either on a couch, a bed, or the floor. Well, we don't have a couch, there's no way I'm changing poopy diapers on my bed, and I'll skip the floor because I like being able to use my back. Also, it takes about 10 seconds to get from one end of the apartment to another, so it's not like I'm going out of my way to get to it. Also, it doubles as a dresser. The closets are stuffed full of non-baby items, so we'd have no place to put baby clothes if not for this.

Speaking of baby clothes, I doubt there's a set of parents in the world that can resist doing a little bit of browsing and buying, even when other people are all to eager to purchase things for baby. In particular, a certain expecting grandmother who finds something irresistble whenever she pops into a store's baby department! Because of that, Geordie and I have been pretty discriminating in our choice of baby clothes and accessories. And given the kind of stuff we buy, the cashiers at Babies R' Us probably think we're having a boy.

For example, the socks we picked out:

Geordie liked the dinosaur motif. Me, I like the middle pair in the bottom row. Stripes are awesome. Geordie also spotted this onesie and refused to consider not buying it:

Really, who could resist? This t-shirt too:

And cute goes way beyond color scheme, you know. I love this little hat and mittens combo:

I admit, I can't help but mentally giggle at the sight of those little ears. The hooded bath towels were fun to go through too, and we decided on two of them. The first was easy; we knew we were going to get it as soon as we saw it. The second one was a toss-up - it or the strawberry. A close one, but the strawberry lost out.

I seriously cannot wait to put these to use! And probably take far more photos than are required.

We also bought a few more onesies, a couple blue and a few yellow-patterned ones as well. The pinks were just too . . . pink. But, we did end up buying one pink thing, and it's one of my favorites of what we got. It is pink and has hearts and it makes me think of neapolitan ice cream:

I just hope it fits her for winter! I'm worried it might be too big - in which case, I hope it fits her for next winter!

And that's pretty much all the shopping we've done now, as far as clothes are concerned. We'll wait to see what size she is before buying more - and also to see the haul Gramma Joyce brings with her when she arrives! We've also gotten all of the other essential baby items we'll probably need - diaper bag and other various diapering supplies for the changing table, a bassinet for nights in our room for the first couple months, washclothes, and various other boring things like that.

I can hardly believe it myself, but we may be ready for Lucky's arrival! Supply-wise, that is. Mentally, it's still a bit of a free-for-all. Especially since a week has passed since I first started writing this post and we're now at WEEK 37 and Lucky could make an appearance at any time. Any day now.

I need to go organize some baby things . . .

Week 35: 6.5 lbs = big baby?

Starting this week, I'll be going to the hospital for regular check-ups every week. Judging from this week's visit, September is going to be one hell of a month.

So, every week, I have an ultrasound. That's standard policy for Japanese obstetrics. It's been nice, actually, to see Lucky's progressive growth each time, and she's usually pretty active during the scans, like she knows she's being watched. Ever since we left the Shoji Clinic, though, I've enjoyed ultrasounds a little less, because every single one has included the comment, "That's a big baby. No, really. A BIG baby."

At 28 weeks, Lucky's estimated weight was 3 pounds. At 31 weeks, it was about 4.5 pounds. Two weeks later, it was around 5.7 pounds. And now, at 35 weeks, it's 6.5 pounds. According to American averages, Lucky's in about the 70th percentile. According to Japanese standards, she's practically Godzilla. That's supposing that the ultrasounds are all correct in these estimates - because that's all they are. The doctor takes some measurements on the ultrasound, and the machine spits out an estimate based on that. Ultrasounds have been known to be up to a pound off, in either direction. Which, hey, means there could be a chance that Lucky really is Godzilla-sized!

The doctor at this week's visit immediately asked about glucose testing. Now, I understand the concern about Gestational Diabetes. I do, really. I just don't think it's the issue here. There's been no sugar in my urine. My two prior glucose tests came back with healthy levels. Lucky's growth has been a fairly steady (and normal) half a pound per week. I'm no doctor, but that doesn't seem particularly disastrous to me. Everything about Lucky looks fine - placenta is healthy, amniotic fluid is at a good level, heartbeat is strong, and my cervix shows no signs of premature labor.

So what's the issue? Standarization is the issue. Japanese babies generally don't weigh more than 7 pounds at birth - 6 lbs 10 oz is the national average compared to America's average of about 8 pounds at birth. (note: if Lucky continues with the pound per fortnight growth, she'll weigh only slightly more than the American average) It could be argued that this is a natural occurence amongst the Japanese; it could also be argued that it's a result of Japanese doctors telling their pregnant patients to not gain any weight during pregnancy. A simple search online will produce a number of research papers and articles regarding a rising rate of low birthweight infants in Japan, starting in the 1980's. The conclusion for most of these papers/articles is that the cause is the mother's weight before and during pregnancy.

I'm not going to lay judgment on that. I'm nobody's doctor, and I'm not going to tell anyone how to handle their pregnancy. But I don't like being judged to a standard that has nothing to do with me and doesn't fit me anyway. And I don't appreciate the suggestion that Lucky is "big" because my body is doing something wrong when - up to this point - there has been no such indication. GD is usually diagnosed halfway through pregnancy; my glucose test at 26 weeks came back negative. I'd be much happier if the doctors just admitted that the thought of delivering a larger baby than they're used to makes them nervous. Fine, I accept that. Don't go blaming my body for it.

As for my weight, I've been happy with it, for the most part. I've gained about 14 pounds with this pregnancy, which is about as much as I'd like to gain. I was told by the Shoji Clinic to try not to gain any weight, but they never berated me for my weight gain. I've actually only gained about 4 pounds since week 20, so I doubt very much that it's contributed to Lucky's size. I think both she and I are developing at a good, natural rate.

But, as I said, I'm no doctor, and maybe I'm wrong about the GD. Better to be safe than sorry, yes? I'll have another glucose test next week to make sure, and we'll determine where to go from there. I am, however, becoming less convinced that the doctors are going to let me go to term. I wouldn't be too surprised if Lucky makes her appearance in September rather than October. We'll just have to wait and see.


And because I mentioned actual research done into this topic, here are a few links. There's much more out there, but these were the ones I found the most interesting.

• parenting blog about an article about pregnant Japanese women and dieting
• the article that blog refers to
• a research paper on low birthweight among Japanese infants
• an excellent blog about a mixed-race couple and their birthing experience in Japan

34 Weeks: Is it over yet?

The main reason I haven't been blogging about my pregnancy is that I'm not really enjoying it. I don't like being pregnant. I thought that maybe I'd grow into - get used to it, perhaps - but, no. Pregnancy just keeps getting worse. Much as I've tried to adapt to it, I can't. My body doesn't belong to me anymore, and that drives me a little bit crazy.

And that's unfortunate, because I do want to talk about my pregnancy. It might have been helpful - cathartic, in a way. But my body isn't the only thing that's been totally absorbed by pregnancy - so has my mind. It's incredibly difficult to focus on anything not pregnancy-related. There is not any house of the day that my mind isn't 100% engaged with the fact that I am pregnant. It's impossible to forget, which makes it damn difficult to think about other things. Like writing. Or even organizing thoughts. Everything's jumbled.

So, while I want to write about my experiences - especially in regards to what it's like to be a foreign woman giving birth in Japan - I can't do it right now. It will have to wait. The most I can do right now is experience it, jot down notes, and worry about organizing it all later. Right now, I just need to focus on being pregnant, because that's all my pregnancy-oriented brain will allow me to do right now.

I'm looking forward to not being pregnant, but not because I'll get my body and mind back. It WILL be nice to have my body back, but I know that doesn't mean I'll get my old life back. having to go through all these changes is probably a good thing, because things won't go back to the way they were. I consider this to be a transition phase, something to prepare for the next big steps I'll have to take in order to become a decent mother.

I'm terrified about becoming a mother. That's natural, I know, and it's almost a cliche, but it's true. Becoming a parent is terrifying, especially if you've spent all of your adult life wondering why anyone would think you competent enough to put you in charge of children. Fortunately, there's also something exciting about it. I'm not sure what. Finding reasons to be terrified is easy - finding reasons to be excited is not so easy. But, inexplicably, I find that I am, thus giving me another reason to want this pregnancy to be over and done.

I have all kinds of things I want to share with Lucky as she grows. Traditions from our families in America, newer traditions that we develop along the way, favorite music, favorite foods, Japanese customs and the beauty of Japan itself. We've already decided we want to do the baby-signing thing, and there are probably half a dozen other things we want to teach/do with her as she gets older. As much as the pregnancy has been a pain in my ass (literally, at times), one of the things that makes it so intolerable - for me, anyway - is the waiting.

So, while I hate being pregnant, at least I know that I'll have something to look forward to at the end of it. It'll be the beginning of a whole new set of challenges, but that doesn't bother me so much. Motherhood may be an adventure of awesome proportions, but I figure it won't be any worse than being pregnant.

Not all the time, anyway.

Rewind: A Child Called Lucky

So . . . in the year or so since I last posted a blog, lots of things have changed. I mean, LOTS of things. And all of these changes can be expressed in one word: Lucky. What is Lucky? Easy enough to answer. This is Lucky:

That, friends, is a baby. To be perfectly accurate, it's my baby.

Yeah, I know. I can hardly believe it either. But there Lucky is and there Lucky will stay. Until October, at which point Lucky will be born and the changes will become even more drastic.

You may be wondering . . . "Lucky?" You'd have to ask G about that. G used this name to refer to our growing bundle of cells early on, and it's stuck. More on that later. While Facebook knows this little one as "the Keefeling," G and I refer to him/her as Lucky, so that's what I'm using here. Don't worry, not all of the forthcoming posts are going to revolve around Lucky, but because this is my life right now, you can expect to hear a lot about what we're expecting. Consider it an added bonus that there's a little insight into Japan's take on the miracle of childbirth.

I let myself get into some bad habits in 2010. One was a lull in studying Japanese. Another was not blogging regularly. Or at all. Now that I've got time and energy (hello, second trimester!), I'm trying to remedy that. Not just because it's good for me and people seem to want to hear what I have to say - still trying to figure that one out. But also because I have Lucky to write about . . . and for. A lot of this is for Lucky, for a time when Lucky might actually care about what was going on while I carried him/her around. And because Lucky is going to be the one and only, I feel I should write all this stuff down. It's a once-in-a-lifetime experience for me, and I'd like to be able to save it.


Note: This post is pre-dated. I wrote it several months after the date it says here. I did that because that's when I found out about Lucky, and that's when this whole "big changes" thing really started. I've got some unposted writings that I want to share, but because I'm anal about this kind of thing, I'd like to do it in chronological order. So keep in mind that not all new posts will appear at the top of the blog. Part of the reason I've delayed these writings so long is that I've only recently really been able to come to terms with the fact that I am going to be a mother in a very short amount of time. That took a lot of getting used to. I still don't think I'm used to it. I'm hoping this helps some.

*blink blink*

Skipping past the apologies and the remonstrations, etc. and moving on to just continuing to exist.

So, here's what I've been doing lately, in no particular order:

1. taking horseback riding lessons. This is a fun (if expensive) activity I've picked up. I enjoy it immensely, but I really need to move up from the beginners' lesson because I'm starting to get bored of the whole "walking around in a circle" thing. All that's holding me back is figuring out the tack, which I mostly have down. It is a universal truth, perhaps, that instructors always seem to be there when you make a mistake but aren't around when you actually do it correctly.

2. intensely studying Japanese. I've been racking up to 2-3 hours per day recently. Am I actually improving? Not so far as I can tell. But the kind staff at Tully's Coffee have taken notice of it and continually encourage me to keep up the good work.

3. writing. Well, mostly editing. The novel I worked on for NaNo has undergone great amounts of editing after I decided it needed dual points of view and a tense change.

4. reading Agatha Christie novels. Went through six of them last month, already gone through two this month. I'm not sure who I like better: Poirot or Marple. I must admit that I was rather disappointed with Murder on the Orient Express, though. Death on the Nile was a much better story (if not a more predictable one; I solved the mystery before the murder even took place). Most disappointing was the play "The Mousetrap." HIGHLY predictable. Not sure why it's considered the best of her plays. "Verdict" and "Witness for the Prosecution" are much better.

5. butting heads with the manager. We're having, um, "personality" differences.

6. practicing Japanese songs for karaoke. Mixed results.

7. surviving without the internet. Shocking.

8. promising to update this blog yet never really getting around to it. Must remedy this at once. (see #5 for a good reason WHY I haven't been able to blog)

Kit-Kats: The Odd

These are my favorite Kit Kats. Not necessarily because of their taste but because you have to wonder, "Who thought this was a good idea? Who came up with this flavor?" Seriously, imagine what an awesome job this would be, coming up with new flavors for Japanese Kit Kats.



You could do a lot with flowers. This is the rose (ロ－ス") Kit Kat. If this Kit Kat had been white chocolate, I'm sure it would have gone with the Bad flavors. But it was milk chocolate, and all was well. I liked this flavor - it was subtle, not too sweet, and strangely appealing. Flowery, yes, but no nasty aftertaste like the jasmine tea one. It was just not a flavor I associated with Kit Kats. But, oh, how that has been remedied.

How do I explain ramune (ラムネ)? The word originates from English's "lemonade" and it's a kind of cidery drink. But it comes in different flavors, not just lemon. I've never actually tried ramune (though, after this Kit Kat, I mean to), but I'm told it's a fizzy cider drink. If you look at the Kit Kat wrapper, you will see a green bottle with a blue ball near the top. Apparently, this is a specific type of bottle used only for ramune, and it's got a little marble inside it that floats on the liquid. Why? Just for the hell of it, as far as I can tell.

This was a very fun Kit Kat. First, it's blue. (It's also white chocolate, but milk chocolate would NOT have worked with this flavor, so it's okay.) Blue is easily the most awesome Kit Kat color I've seen thus far. Second, it was fizzy. Like, carbonated soda fizzy. How fun is that? It's a Kit Kat that fizzes in your mouth! Just when I thought Kit Kats couldn't get any better. Third, it tasted good. How's that for amazing?

Here's an interesting one. Most of my students and co-workers think this Kit Kat obsession of mine is charming or cute. I got in the habit of showing Takeda-san any new Kit Kats I found. When she moved back to Sapporo, her father drove down to help her, and she asked him to bring me Sapporo's signature Kit Kat. (Have I mentioned that my Japanese friends and co-workers are beyond awesome? Because they are.) This is a grilled corn (やきもろこし) Kit Kat. Weird, but tasty. In fall and winter, vendors all over Sapporo sell this delectable treat, so it's only right that this should be their flavor. It's much better than a squid flavor, which is the other thing that Sapporo is supposedly famous for (as far as food goes). I'm still waiting for miso flavor.

And this one is just fun: hot chili pepper flavor! This is the first dark chocolate Kit Kat I've had, but logic dictates that spicy chocolate must be dark. Milk chocolate just can't do it justice. I got this one in Nagano (along with the apple and the grape, which seem positively mundane compared to this), and I shared it with one of my more advanced classes. It was a hit, and now whenever I go somewhere, they ask me what kind of Kit Kats I found. One of them even occasionally brings me Kit Kats to see if I've had them before (the answer is usually yes, but I appreciate her curiousity).

Last, I present two Kit Kats that are appropriate for summer: lemon vinegar (レモンビネガー) and apple vinegar (アップルビネガー). Yes, vinegar. It's actually closer to a cider flavor (rather like what's pictured on the apple vinegar box), but it does have a slightly vinegary taste that goes well with the chocolate. It's a very cool flavor, which is why it's so good for summer. The lemon flavor was better than the apple flavor, maybe because it was less cidery. I actually really enjoyed the lemon flavor and bought a couple of bags to eat over the summer. It's been a while since I saw the lemon, but the apple is still available at a store in the Loc City mall.

And with that, I am now caught up with my Kit Kat discoveries. For now. Autumn is fast-approaching, and I have no doubt that more exciting (and/or odd) flavors will be appearing soon. In the meantime, I can get back to blogging about more important things, like travel and sightseeing and actual food!

Kit-Kats: The Bad

So, we saw the good. Unfortunately, some Kit Kats just don't have what it takes to be considered delicious. To be honest, some of them are downright yucky. It baffles the mind, doesn't it?

Surely combining strawberry cheesecake with Kit Kat marvelousness should create something truly fantastic! Right? Er, not according to my taste buds. Granted, it's white chocolate, and I'm not keen on it anyway, but this Kit Kat was particularly displeasing to me. It's not the worst flavor I've ever had (molasses Kit Kat, I'm looking at you, and YOU were milk chocolate, so don't EVEN try to make excuses), but it has its place in the bottom ten.

Yes, I rank the Kit Kats. So?

Now, part of it probably may be because I just don't like certain flavors. Take Mr. Espresso here. I did not have high hopes for this Kit Kat because I don't like espresso, and the last espresso-y Kit Kat I had was the tiramisu, which was just nasty (that one probably ranks #2 on the worst list). And I was right. Perhaps someone loving espresso would also love this Kit Kat, but for me, it was a one-time thing, baby.

Also, take a look at how unappetizing it is:

Could it be any blander? Beige Kit Kats are a crime against humanity. Note that it almost looks like it's not white chocolate. But it is! It is! Sneak.

But enough picking on white chocolate. Milk chocolate has its bad flavors too. Isn't this a pretty box? And it sounds nice, too: jasmine tea. Ah, jasmine tea is nice! It's refreshing, yeah? Good for a hot summer day. Okay, so the chocolate is melty, but still - jasmine tea! Nice!

And then you put it in your mouth. Bleh! Might as well just rename this one jasmine and be done with it. There's no tea flavor here, it's just jasmine, and jasmine hangs around for a while with a severe aftertaste. Granted, some flowers have a nice taste to them: lavender is good, violet is not so bad, and rose can be quite pleasant. Jasmine, however, should be left well enough alone. Stick to tea, jasmine. We'll appreciate you more that way. You and chocolate just don't get along all that well.

Speaking of tea . . .

Don't get me wrong, I like green tea. And I love matcha-flavored things. But when it comes to Kit Kats, I'll leave it rather than take it. It's the only Kit Kat I've eaten that tastes . . . chalky. Sometimes matcha has that chalky aftertaste to it, but this one was stronger than usual. And take note: it's white chocolate. It's a nifty electric green color, but it's still white chocolate.

This one was milk chocolate, but it still wasn't that great:

Well, it's a short list, but there you have the less-than-spectacular, the Kit Kats that missed the mark. It just proves that nothing is perfect, not even variously flavored chocolate treats.

Next up, we will examine the weird and the wonderful, the outlandish and fantastic. The Kit Kats that make you say, "Huh?"